Big Brother, featuring Inuyasha
by Kagome
Summary: Big Brother like you've never seen before, cause this time Inuyasha's moving in!


Big Brother, featuring Inuyasha  
  
by Kagome  
  
Week One, Monday  
  
7.00 am  
  
The cast of Inuyasha are caught by surprise one morning when they're all summoned to a small house in the middle of Nowhere. (In case you're wondering, Nowhere is located in a secret location, which cannot be released due to security issues) Each member is tired, groggy, and annoyed that a complete idiot called them to a tiny shack at 7 o'clock in the morning. Inuyasha clearly seems the most pissed off, though, as he threatens to smash the camera, mistaking them for demons. Before our cameras were cut, however we managed to get this little bit of dialogue:  
  
"Inuyasha, don't, we're on television--"  
  
"I don't care! I'm gonna kill this f***ing bastard! I wanna go back to bed!"  
  
"Don't swear Inuyasha, it's impolite!"  
  
"You want a piece of me, wench?"  
  
"Yeah, bring it on, big-shot!"  
  
"Hold on a minute, *smash*"  
  
It was here that we lost contact with camera 1a, the camera used on Day 1 of Week One. But, the excitement didn't stop there. After we calmed Kagome down and coaxed Inuyasha into a straightjacket, the staff of Big Brother explained why they'd all been called there. Upon hearing this, Sesshoumaru squeals with delight, happy that they were, "On television, now people can watch me kill my brother!"  
  
7.30 am  
  
Considering the inconvenience of the hour, each house member is allowed to take a shower, in alphabetical order. Sesshoumaru is especially unhappy, complaining that his hair feels like greasy mud-pies, and that he hasn't applied his make-up yet.  
  
While Inuyasha is taking a shower, however, the unfortunate happens. Sesshoumaru's hair potion spills on the ground and rolls underneath the bathroom door, into the shower. Luckily, Inuyasha hasn't been in the shower, because as soon as the potion comes in contact with the water, a giant explosion blows the door back, and the cast as well.  
  
"F*** this, then! I'm not getting killed over this crap!" Inuyasha runs wobbly out of the bathroom, only to be embraced by a loving Kagome. "There there, are you okay?" As Kagome starts to walk away with Inuyasha, camera 1b zooms into this juicy scene.  
  
"Hey, go away!" Kagome says.  
  
8.00 am  
  
Camera 1b is under maintenance.  
  
9.00 am  
  
During the last half-hour, 10 cameras have been broken. Camera 1l is up now, although the filmer is a bit shaky from all the hullaballoo. Big Brother assigns everyone rooms, and they are as follows:  
  
-Kagome and Sango -Inuyasha and Miroku -Sesshoumaru and Naraku -Kaede, by herself  
  
Kaede becomes angry, wandering around the house, wondering why nobody wants to sleep in the same room with her. Later we discovered why. Miroku, while looking for 'inspiration' in Kaede's room, stumbles across a bottle with the following label: "Kusai Odorant- Perfume for the Sinus Incompatible"  
  
9.30 am  
  
Inuyasha wants to know what 'sinus' means. Camera 1l calls him a smelly retard.  
  
10.00 am  
  
Camera 1m is up now, due to some technical difficulties.  
  
10.30 am  
  
Big Brother hears everyone complaining about lunch, so the staff comes up with a perfect idea for the cast's first task. They are to have a cooking contest, and whoever wins feeds their dish for lunch. Kagome finds this a lovely idea, as do several other of the girls in the house. (Kikyo was unable to join us for this presentation, due to her unbearable rotting stench) Inuyasha grumbles something about chicken casserole, and the whistle blows. Everyone begins.  
  
11.00 am  
  
Miroku, while working on a pepperoni pizza, tries to chat up Sango. "My cheese is grated perfectly." He announces, averting everyone's gaze from their food to the cheese grater. Miroku sees his chance, and slaps Sango playfully.  
  
11.10 am  
  
When everyone's dishes are put into the oven, (with the exception of Kagome and Kaede, whose meals are in the microwave) Miroku finds he can relate to the several cameras that have been broken over the course of this day.  
  
Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are playing sherades to pass the time. Sesshoumaru is currently removing his excess clothing layers, so that he can move enough to play. It's been about 5 minutes, and Miroku decides to touch Kagome for lack of boredom. A high pitched shriek escapes her lips, and she scuttles closer over to Inuyasha, who glares evilly at Miroku. Regardless of what happened last time, Camera 1m zooms in. The unthinkable happens.  
  
11.50 am  
  
The food is ready.  
  
12.30 pm  
  
After waiting for about half an hour for Naraku to calm down and, "Stop screaming, Ninny-poo, we're live!" Big Brother calls everyone into the kitchen. Each dish is covered with a thin blanket, and marked with a rather crude looking number. Inuyasha is crossing his fingers, as are Kagome and Sango.  
  
Big Brother enters the room.  
  
1.00 pm  
  
And the winner is ... Number 7! But who is number 7? Big Brother scours the entire building for this mysterious 7. The cast are all whispering among eachother, wondering who one. They start to ready their tomatoes.  
  
1.10 pm  
  
Camera 1n informs Big Brother that Number 7 is ...  
  
MIROKU!  
  
Sango gasps, and before she can stop herself runs and leaps into Miroku's arms. Miroku's smile touches his ears, and Inuyasha grumbles, "Feh!" Sesshoumaru and Naraku break down into tears, they can't believe they've lost. Kagome is mute, and nobody can figure out why. Until she vomits.  
  
1.30 pm  
  
Big Brother discovers that Kagome was tasting Miroku's pizza, and vomited once she tasted the 'perfectly grated cheese'. Inuyasha smiles with delight, and the smile on Miroku's face fades. Sango gasps, and tastes the pizza. She vomits too. Everyone grabs a slice of the pizza, and are all sent to the bathroom to vomit. It turns out that Sesshoumaru is the winner.  
  
"Yesh, I knew we'd win!" Sesshoumaru cries, bouncing up and down in his now flexible attire. The whole cast groans, and eats their lunch of fried beetle legs with creamy toasted jalapeno puppies. Hash clowns are for dessert, and Sango, trying to be nice, remarks on their colorful exterior.  
  
4.00 pm  
  
Kaede, being an elderly woman, is put to bed by house security. While resisting, she is flashed with a memory snatcher, and is told to, "Remain silent. You have forgotten everything, you're going to bed now, and you are going to have a nice sleep. You have no idea what the MIB is (Men Inflicting Beasts)"  
  
Meanwhile, the house gets down to some Twister. Inuyasha has a funny smile on his face, causing Kagome to look uneasy. Naraku and Sesshoumaru have scary looks too, and all humans are afraid. When the game begins. Sesshoumaru manages to land a spot next to Naraku's face, and they rub noses. Kagome shudders, but takes it back when she lands splat! in front of Inuyasha's behind.  
  
7.30 pm  
  
After playing Twister to their hearts content, or at least to the content of the MIB, the house members retreat to their rooms. Miroku is informed that the bedroom doors will be locked, and this puts him to sleep very uneasily. Sango and Kagome, however, are very pleased, and are asleep in a blink. (This is partly due to MIB's Insta-Sleep technique, which is top secret and must never leave the headquarters of MIB)  
  
12.00 am  
  
"What're you--"  
  
"Hey, watch it--"  
  
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"  
  
12.30 am  
  
The whole cast of Big Brother seems to have awoken, and are retreating downstairs for a glass of milk, and some more hash clowns, which everyone surprisingly enjoyed.  
  
Kaede, however, is sound asleep, and has been snoring for the past few hours, which is why:  
  
a) MIB is still in business with Big Brother  
  
b) Everyone is awake  
  
-end of Week One, Monday- 


End file.
